The Dukes of Hazzard: The Beginning

Release Date: March 13, 2007

Tag Line: More hot pedal-to-the-metal footage than the R gear can handle

Description: You never forget the first time! Meet teenagers Bo and Luke Duke (Jonathan Bennett and Randy Wayne), high-spirited troublemakers, new to Hazzard County and paroled to the care of their moonshine-making Uncle Jesse (Willie Nelson). Blowhard Boss Hogg (Christopher McDonald) is already fleecing the citizenry to line his pockets, but crosses the line when he sets out to steal the Duke farm. As the feudin’, fussin’, and fast-trackin’ fun revs up, cousin Daisy (April Scott) transforms from country girl to Hazzard hottie and a vehicular legend—the General Lee—is born, along with the boys’ skills for outrunning Hogg and his deputies. You’re at the starting line of the Duke saga. Let the comedy, spills, and thrills pile up at lightning-fast speed!

Running time: 95 minutes

Rating: Not rated

Scoop Review

Plot: Prequels are all the rage these days. Witness the critical and commercial success of Batman Begins and Casino Royale. Then witness this—and you’ll understand why it went straight to the video shelves. Whatever potential the plot might have had was squeezed out of it by shoddy writing, mostly flat jokes, and lukewarm performances.

Acting: The casting for this movie is off, except for Nelson as Uncle Jesse. That’s a perfect fit. And although there’s no doubt that Scott is smokin’ hot, she’s too skinny. Put some meat on those bones, woman. Now I do realize that in this movie, Daisy is supposed to be just 18, but Catherine Bach was built like a brick sh—. Uh, never mind. Anyway, even McDonald, who’s entertaining in just about anything he’s in, is effectively handcuffed.

Special Effects: Daisy Duke’s shorts weren’t short enough. C’mon—they’re Daisy Dukes.

Ridiculous Dialogue Samples (there were many, many to choose from):

• “Was I talkin’ to you there, Johnny Jingle Nuts?”

• “I’ll send you straight to hell in a bucket of chicken.” (What? What?)

• “There are two things that always crack me up: monkeys dressed as humans and some pu**y getting thrown off a bus.”

• Four slices of a sex pie just walked right through that door. I think they need a little scoop of Bo on top.”

• “My wife’s got a jewelry habit that’d make a crack whore look sensible.”

Keep an Eye Out For. . .

• Daisy Duke + ice cream = well, a lot of things I can’t write here.

• The outtakes during the closing credits, many of which, of course, are funnier than the actual movie.

The Straight Scoop: I love the Dukes of Hazzard as much anyone, but this is a dull and ultimately unimaginable movie. I had low expectations going in, and those expectations were met—barely. What really bugs me is that this movie is probably being rented by hundreds of thousands of people all across the country, just because the DVD case has “Dukes of Hazzard” on it and Scott is displayed prominently. And the whole “unrated” thing? It’s a bunch of bunk. Bo and Luke drive a dune buggy through the girls locker room at school. Big deal.

Recommendation: Leave these good ‘ol boys on the shelf. They might be meanin’ no harm, but it’s painful, just the same. Watch the television series on DVD instead.

Quality Rating: Two scoops

Riff Rating: Four scoops

Reviewer: Matt Deutsch

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