Supercroc

Release Date: April 3, 2007

Tag Line: It’s 50 feet long . . . it’s 25 feet tall . . . and in 14 hours, it will be here!

Bonus Tag Line: The heart-pounding suspense of Alien and Predator, the epic adventure of Godzilla and King Kong!

Description: In this non-stop action adventure, an elite military unit must stop a giant reptilian creature from reaching Los Angeles.

Running time: 85 minutes

Rating: Not rated

Scoop Review

Plot: This is definitely not the first time somebody has made a giant crocodile or alligator movie. The list is long—Alligator, Alligator 2: The Mutation, Crocodile, Crocodile 2: Death Swamp, Lake Placid. So we’re not breaking any new ground here. But I was still jazzed by the prospect of another giant croc flick, because hey, maybe they’ll do something fresh, original, or innovative. And maybe straight-to-video movies will fly out of my butt.

Acting: Bad, for the most part. The rest of it is horrible.

Special Effects: Completely, 100 percent CGI. And it’s not good CGI, folks. Industrial Light & Magic did not have a hand in the making of this film. Not that I’m holding Supercroc to that kind of standard. After all, it is a direct-to-video release. However, this represents a new breed of DTV movie, one that attempts to do more than it actually can through the use of CGI. It’s not a particularly attractive breed.

Ridiculous Dialogue Samples:

• “This is not a wedding ring! It’s an engagement ring! What kind of bullet-pissing, jar-headed moron can’t tell the difference between a wedding ring and an engagement ring, huh?”

• “This is like trying to stop an avalanche with a go**amn stop sign!”

Keep an Eye Out For . . .

• The evacuation sequence. The filmmakers used a sound track to give the impression of hundreds of people being evacuated by the military. Meanwhile, the camera pans around to the approximately six extras they were using. Hey, we have brains here! (Although I did rent this train wreck, so that statement’s validity just suffered a severe blow.)

The Straight Scoop: First of all, the croc is not 50 feet long. It’s more like 80 feet. So . . . right off the bat, the DVD case is lying to us. It also lied about being as suspenseful as Alien and Predator and as adventurous as Godzilla and King Kong. Then it lied about the fact that Iraq had weapons of mass destruction. Wait a minute . . . that’s not right. Forget that last part. Wanna see a good giant reptile flick? Watch the original Alligator starring Robert Forster and the always hilarious Henry Silva. It was made in 1980, further proof that CGI, at least at this point, is vastly overrated.

Recommendation: This is a Supercroc of sh*t.

Quality Rating: No scoops

Riff Rating: Five super scoops

Reviewer: Matt Deutsch

Quality Rating:
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